Friday, December 14, 2012

Twisted Treasuries #17: Deck the Halls

I'm not sure what this week's Xmas-y title has more to do with: decor or the fact that with a week and some change away from Christmas I'm ready to deck some corporate faschists right in their fat little halls. All I know is, after the last few days there's no place I'd rather be than at home slapping some oddities on the fronds of a holly jolly, Hallmark-esque hot pink evergreen and browsing etsy for handmade treasures instead of sweltering under piles of mass-produced and overpriced trendwear...

Bah to the humbug, time to deck the halls with horror. It's all pretty self-explanatory so let's get this treasury in the history books!

I've never been a fan of gingerbread-- during the holidays or any other time. This ornament however changed my mind. Just two of five (frankly unexpected) zombie ornaments presented by Dana K, these in particular make me want to get one of those gingerbread kits and go all out Blackthorn on that mofo. I want a tree full of zombie gingerbread dudes now. Nestled in all that piney goodness with string or several of dried cranberry guts-- bedlam and viscera all the way round!

Dance Sippy Dance makes yet another triumphant appearance! Currently this little monster tree-boogers are sold out, but they could appear again. I love their grins. That's what these crazy ole holidays should look like.

It's hard to choose which of these classic Santa ornaments with their snazzy zombie makeovers should come home for the Twisted Tanenbaum holidays. They're all fabulous. Admittedly there are two that should be making their merry way via the demented little elves that make up the postal service, as I type. Momsy and I decided to get one for The Brother and fams tree (aww! look at me thinking of others. guess I have a soul after all). The other will deck my cars dashboard. There's no doubt of the merriment of this disarticulated Father Christmas will bring!
Psst! Currently you can get 10%off too. Just be sure to pay attention to the shop announcements for the code. 
Killer Care Bears. Zombie piggy banks. This guy. There are many beautious dead things to behold within the virtual confines of Undead Ed's online store, this ornament caught my eye. Then it sold. My tree just isn't going to look right without it this season. Oh well...
This one's cute too...
Tell me this isn't the face of someone who worked and worked all year at being good and still got a chunk of Christmas coal in his stocking. How cute and Christmased-out does this little guy look? The pumpkins Vanessa made are what initially drew this shop into my etsy searching scope, but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with all the moody little creatures lurking about. Seriously, stop by and check 'em out.
If I were to buy this ornament I would be tempted to get its own evergreen to dominate and make a man-eating Christmas tree the centre of my holidays. It's Little Shop of Horrors meets Christmas Vacation with that squirrel paw hanging out of its mouth. Again, comes my inner struggle with taxidermy, cause, yep, that's a real paw this Audrey II bauble is gnawing on.
 If I ever wanted to fulfill my role as a good aunt to The Brothers spawn I'd sit her down and with cookies and cocoa close at hand, we'd make an army of these ornaments together. Nothing says bandage, er.... bonding like making undead ornaments with Aunty Blackthorn. ;)
There's really not much to say about these lace skull ornaments. Their amazingness is quite apparent.
 Actually, I'll take just about all the ornaments Natalie has available.
Oh my gosh! We forgot about the reindeer!! How can you have Christmas without flying fawna?
And of course, what proper Twisted Treasuries tree trimming would be complete without Cannibalistic Candy Canes?
That's one devishly decked out Douglas Fir fantasy, no?
Hark those harolds, kids, there's no escaping it. Christmas is almost here....
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to spend the rest of the Christmas crunch crazies watching Scrooged and discovering the true meaning of Christmas, which of course, as everyone knows, is getting beaten upside the head with a toaster by Carol Kane.

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