Living The American Scream

Yesterday, working on this years top secret Halloween project* and simultaneously wading through [a perfectly forgettable] documentary about the Mothman on Netflix, I came across a little gem of a documentary called "The American Scream". It was a recommendation for those who had made it all the way through this unnamed catastrophe of a film. Let's call it a "reward" for having gritted my teeth through that particular waste of digital celluloid...

I'd say that for any home haunter and, of course, the Halloween obsessed "American Scream" is a must. If the online forums aren't enough to fulfill your thirst for Halloween (which, let's face it, is it? Ever?) or can't quite quench that lonely, niggling only-haunter-in-my-neck-of-the-woods feeling (I'm with you on that one...), well this is for you. The documentary, the latest production from the Chiller network, focuses on three very different home haunts in Fairhaven, Massachusetts and the two months leading up to the big night October 31st. I laughed, I cried, I drooled over props, nodded my head in rabid agreement in multiples and I made two whole props after. Magic.

I'd heard whispers last year on Haunt Forum (which gets a nod in the movie, alongside Hauntcast Radio) of a documentary dedicated to home and yard haunters in the works and I'm not entirely sure if this is that one, but hey, even it is isn't I'll take it! If you have an hour and a half to spare this weekend, ditch the "Revenge" marathon for a bit and check it out. It's currently available to watch instantly on Netflix.

Check out the Official Trailer in the meantime.



*read as: "I'm too technologically fed up this year to mess with frequent updates"

Halloween 2013 Kicks Off

Halloween 2013... doesn't that have a great ring to it?

If you're a true Halloween addict you know that July 4th, for most retailers of the crafting sort, usually marks the stocking-up point for the Halloween season. Last night, after spending all last week wading through the heat playing pet sitter to the neighbors dogs, I decided to head out to the craft stores in desperate need of some autumnal relaxation therapy. If I know for sure fall is coming with tangible faux-liage, well then summer doesn't seem so bad.  My Mom had already spoken of such wondrous sightings of fall leaf garlands hovering outside a Joanns she had passed the other day. I feel like I've been living in Joanns the last few months, so no doubt I'd get there soon enough. Instead, I headed to Michael's for a change of scenery. They did not disappoint.

Sure enough, looming large over the entirety of the floral department were the tell tale seasonal signs of fall foliage and polystyrene ghourd-geousness (oooh, did I really just make that pun? my humble apologies) beckoning to us from atop their shelves-- Mom went with me, in dire need herself.

Naughty little me. No pictures were taken... I was selfish this time around and took in all in for myself. Sorry. Mostly it was fall stem arrangements, pumpkins, leaves, crows and owls and spools of Halloween ribbon (the usual for this time of year), but they still serve as a much welcome harbinger of Halloween to come.

Picked these up to thicken up my stain glass, year-round pumpkin patch I started in my window last year and the big one mostly for the skull and bats...

 

And some ribbon to tie my hair back as I start to dig in on this years haunt...

 

 

 

Deflated

Heads will Roll... in hysterics

I came across the trailer for a new Fox television series "Sleepy Hollow" on tumblr this afternoon:



Now, I try to keep an open mind about entertainment that falls into my genre of choice, but I couldn't make it through this trailer without cringing... and genuinely laughing my ass off.

Let's get this straight kids: the Headless Horseman taking on New York's finest (forgive me for not being able to decipher much details through the tears of hysterical laughter after about a minute in to this fantastical farce of cut and paste literary fiction) with an... uzi?! Was he crashing a helicopter with his trusty Hessian steed, trampling over the piled up, burnt out husks of cruisers as well?
Oh wait, I'm getting H.H. and John McClane mixed up, and why the hell not? Fox obviously has! It seems our favorite literary specter by Washington Irving has fallen victim to the same ridiculous, over-the-top, live action super hero fate that an equally favorite action star has succumb to in the last of the Die Hard oeuvre Hollywood strove to insult us with. Sure, I'll give anything a shot that Clancy Brown thought to grace even a speck of his time to-- the trailer holds no secret as to his fate so maybe I'll only have to sit through the pilot episode-- but I guarantee nothing and expect even less.

At least it's on television so the FREE part of it is ever so enticing, plus, it's Fox so there'll be more than enough commercials to distract adequately between the snicker-fits and frustrated sobs.

One for the Vaults

Image Source

Merry Christmas!!

Wait. What? It's April?!

Forgive me haunters for I have sinned. It's been almost 6 months since I last had paper mache to pick from underneath my fingernails, four months since my last post and FOREVER since I last took in a horror flick. Ultimate sins of sins, I've taken up this winter with a steady obsessional diet of Jane Austen adaptions, Cary Grant and all kinds of thing uncharacteristically girly. Honestly, the scariest thing I've done lately is unload endless stock of frilly underthings in day glow pastel hues the delivery trucks dump off at work, but as April cracked itself open and the green and the flowers and the pollen unfurled, I found myself retreating to the basement constructing the skeletal beginnings of root cages, casting bones and brushing the dust off some DIY bell jar specimens I've been meaning to mount since last fall. All the more to ignore the encroaching swelter of summer and escape the horror of spore-sore sinus cavities. It's just like riding a bike, this. No matter how far I've strayed trying to find my niche in female retail and Edwardian-era romances (everyone has their dirty little secrets ya know) round about this time I'm back up on the horror horse, sketching crooked souled little jacko faces, stocking up on dollar store rope and duct tape and, this year, trying to figure how many hours and layers of seran it'll take to create a zombie farming co-op. Do you think the suburbs are zoned for that?


SO suffice it to say, mother natures not the only one with things brewing this spring...

Twisted Treasuries #17: Deck the Halls

I'm not sure what this week's Xmas-y title has more to do with: decor or the fact that with a week and some change away from Christmas I'm ready to deck some corporate faschists right in their fat little halls. All I know is, after the last few days there's no place I'd rather be than at home slapping some oddities on the fronds of a holly jolly, Hallmark-esque hot pink evergreen and browsing etsy for handmade treasures instead of sweltering under piles of mass-produced and overpriced trendwear...

Bah to the humbug, time to deck the halls with horror. It's all pretty self-explanatory so let's get this treasury in the history books!

I've never been a fan of gingerbread-- during the holidays or any other time. This ornament however changed my mind. Just two of five (frankly unexpected) zombie ornaments presented by Dana K, these in particular make me want to get one of those gingerbread kits and go all out Blackthorn on that mofo. I want a tree full of zombie gingerbread dudes now. Nestled in all that piney goodness with string or several of dried cranberry guts-- bedlam and viscera all the way round!

by Water Penny

Dance Sippy Dance makes yet another triumphant appearance! Currently this little monster tree-boogers are sold out, but they could appear again. I love their grins. That's what these crazy ole holidays should look like.

by dancesippydance

It's hard to choose which of these classic Santa ornaments with their snazzy zombie makeovers should come home for the Twisted Tanenbaum holidays. They're all fabulous. Admittedly there are two that should be making their merry way via the demented little elves that make up the postal service, as I type. Momsy and I decided to get one for The Brother and fams tree (aww! look at me thinking of others. guess I have a soul after all). The other will deck my cars dashboard. There's no doubt of the merriment of this disarticulated Father Christmas will bring!

Psst! Currently you can get 10%off too. Just be sure to pay attention to the shop announcements for the code. 

by SincerelyTwisted

 

 

Killer Care Bears. Zombie piggy banks. This guy. There are many beautious dead things to behold within the virtual confines of Undead Ed's online store, this ornament caught my eye. Then it sold. My tree just isn't going to look right without it this season. Oh well...

This one's cute too...

by UndeadEd

 

 

 

Tell me this isn't the face of someone who worked and worked all year at being good and still got a chunk of Christmas coal in his stocking. How cute and Christmased-out does this little guy look? The pumpkins Vanessa made are what initially drew this shop into my etsy searching scope, but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with all the moody little creatures lurking about. Seriously, stop by and check 'em out.

by TheGrayCafe

 

 

If I were to buy this ornament I would be tempted to get its own evergreen to dominate and make a man-eating Christmas tree the centre of my holidays. It's Little Shop of Horrors meets Christmas Vacation with that squirrel paw hanging out of its mouth. Again, comes my inner struggle with taxidermy, cause, yep, that's a real paw this Audrey II bauble is gnawing on.

by CarnalBarker

 

 

 If I ever wanted to fulfill my role as a good aunt to The Brothers spawn I'd sit her down and with cookies and cocoa close at hand, we'd make an army of these ornaments together. Nothing says bandage, er.... bonding like making undead ornaments with Aunty Blackthorn. ;)

by blueyeduckstudios

 

 

There's really not much to say about these lace skull ornaments. Their amazingness is quite apparent.

 Actually, I'll take just about all the ornaments Natalie has available.

 

by PhoenixThreadworks

 

 

Oh my gosh! We forgot about the reindeer!! How can you have Christmas without flying fawna?

by CoyPowers

 

 

 

And of course, what proper Twisted Treasuries tree trimming would be complete without Cannibalistic Candy Canes?

by auntydonut

 

 

That's one devishly decked out Douglas Fir fantasy, no?

Hark those harolds, kids, there's no escaping it. Christmas is almost here....

 

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to spend the rest of the Christmas crunch crazies watching Scrooged and discovering the true meaning of Christmas, which of course, as everyone knows, is getting beaten upside the head with a toaster by Carol Kane.